Friday, July 19, 2013

The imbalance between Parenting & Grandparenting

As I was reading one of my favorite mommy blogs over at I thought, you know what this would be a great topic for me to blog about as well, because this is DEFINITELY something that, like her, I have struggled with BIG TIME!

I am a full time working mommy who started my daughter Gianna, who is now 20 months, in daycare at 3 months old as I went back to work. We were and still are pro day care, but it wasn't working out great for us, but we stuck with it, because at the time it was our best option. I was constantly sick, she was constantly sick, the husband was constantly sick. Not a good situation, but I guess expected with starting day care. Daycare costs definitely vary by location, but we were paying so much that by the time we had 2 children it would be just as cost efficient for us to hire a nanny. My mom was a special ed teacher who was getting tired of driving 1.5 hours to work each way and she LOVES Gianna, so we decided to pull Gianna out of daycare and hire my mom as our full time nanny. She went into early retirement so between that and what we pay her she is breaking even and enjoying life more.

My mom and I are VERY different, VERY! This left me a little worried, but growing up my grandparents lived next door and were my absolute best friends, so for my daughter I knew it would be an amazing experience. My mom comes to my house everyday to take care of Gianna, because she is somewhat of a hoarder and I do not want Gianna around all of that, plus it is just easier, all of her stuff is here. Some of the things we have struggled with (some may sound silly, but it is what it is):

- Her washing the counter tops with the dish rag- this is OLD SCHOOL and sorry if you do this, but kind of gross! Please use a clorox wipe or some spray and a paper towel !

- Her leaving the toilet seat cover up, it must go down!. When I met my husband this was something I acquired as a habit and is now a family MUST!

- Cleaning up at the end of the day- it is much easier if you do it as you go, then things don't get left un-done.

- Her keeping my kids on the Schedule I set for them, sorry mom I am the parent!

- Feeding my kids the food I want and NOT feeding them the food I don't want. Yes, she can have treats, but she can't have chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner and sorry, no juice!

- Sunscreen- yes, even if she is going outside for just 15 minutes and it is "cloudy" she needs to wear sunscreen.

These are some of the struggles I have with my mom, who is also our full time nanny. These are only a few of them and trust me there are more, but I am learning to try and handle them in stride and just keep reminding or as I say, "sound like a broken record". We will get there eventually, maybe when they start college (laughing). In the mean time, when Gianna hugs and loves on her Grandma I know that we made the right decision. My mom (also known as Granny) got divorced from my dad when I was 17 and has since struggled with it and being "alone" and would spend every minute with us if we were ok with it, so I know this is also one of the greatest gifts I will ever be able to give her. Granny is definitely a lot happier - especially during naps when she gets to watch Dr. Oz. (laughing again)

In-law struggles for a later post...

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