Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Opening up

As a child, I always loved to write, I even used to want to go into journalism and do it as a career. I realized my passion for numbers and business and writing became something I missed. I have always been better at writing feelings than talking about them and that is the main reason that about 6 months ago I started this blog. I was just married and my life was changing and I wanted to document it. Then, I had some weird followers and began to worry about what I was blogging about. I came to a point where I said screw them, if they are that crazy, whatever, I will just ignore them. So now, I am just really starting to try to get back into my blogging and document my life, my feelings and my random thoughts. You can love it, hate it, or somewhere in between...because as words I like to live by, "to each is own."

I got this idea from another blogger and I love it. Pick 1 word to describe your year in 2010 and the 1 word you would like to describe your life in 2011.

My life in 2010 was Scarey, but also Amazing! I began the year marrying my husband, this was amazing, but also very frightening. My parents were married for 23 years and then divorced, it was one of the hardest things I delt with in my life, and I did not want this to happen to me. Taking the leap of faith and promising forever to someone when you know in reality that promise is broken about half the time is scarey as hell, but worth it. We love eachother and in my heart I know we will be forever. Then, I changed jobs, change is always scarey. I was leaving my job of over 3 years, somewhere I was very comfortable and moving up very fast, somewhere I had built a solid reputation and proven myself to go somewhere brand new & completely different. I was going to a much, much larger company with better benefits, a fantastic commute and a place that was a huge resume booster, but my title was going from Regional Finance Manager to Senior Financial Analyst, I was taking a small pay cut and my bonus was going from about 15% a year to 2% a year....what the hell was I thinking right? Well, wrong, I feel like at my age, in my career the resume booster and the change is what I needed, I needed to mix it up and widen my experience, because ultimately I want to be on top so as scarey as making this decision was, I did it. Right after changing jobs Allan and I found out that having a baby isn't so easy, but we are ready for the challenge. We will begin 2011 with open minds and open hearts and our hopes of starting a family this year, if it doesn't happen, it's ok, when God is ready it will and until then we have a very strong marriage we will build upon. Chances are very high and on our side that we will have a baby, but to go through this has always been my biggest fear, so overall my 2010 has definitely been scarey!

In 2011, I am hoping my year will be successful! 2011 is a year that I feel like will be a trying year and more than anything I want to come out victorious. Now, what does that mean? To me it means Allan and I sticking together through our fight to have a baby and getting great news from the doctor. For God to get us through the pain and stress of treatments and to let our marriage prevail and grow stronger. For Allan to find happiness in his career and for me to find it in mine too. To happily celebrate 1 year of marriage and to move towards a 2nd year and build our stability. We have a lot of goals and are still figuring out marriage, I am one who doesn't believe your first year of marriage should be your best, I think each year after in a successful marriage should get better and better. So as someone who always craves stability, I am hoping 2011 will continue to be a year of change, but that at the end of all the changes we can say it was a successful 2011 and maybe I can go into 2012 with my hope to build stability!

No comments:

Post a Comment