Monday, October 21, 2013

Strengths & Weaknesses in Marriage

This week I am linking up again with Becky to talk about strengths and weaknesses in marriage. We all know marriage is work, marriage is HARD work! We all know that many marriages don't last and many do, so to be one of the ones that do, you have to work at it and never stop working at it. We all have weaknesses, but we also all have strengths and just like with your career or your friendships if you recognize them, take constructive criticism, learn and grow from your mistakes, then your marriage will benefit. You can  find some more interesting facts about marriage here.

So I have only been married for about 4 years, I am by no means an expert, but I am learning and growing each and every day from being married. Some days are harder than others and in the 4 years of my marriage we have definitely had some difficult times. One of my weaknesses is the fact that I say things I don't mean. I have always done this and it is a major downfall of mine. I have been trying to work on it over the years, because I absolutely hate that I do this, but for some reason when I am hurt a trigger goes off and this is my way of defending myself. This is a bad way and not at all good for my marriage. It is a continued effort.

Another one of my weaknesses is my lack of the ability to forgive. I am not a forgiving person, most of the time I will write a person off without question. Well, obviously, in marriage you can't just write your husband off for every fight or argument you have. I do forgive and move on, but I remember and inside I do hold grudges, again, working on this and I know it can't be good for my marriage.

My husband and I both need to work on setting the scene for romance in our marriage. We fell in love and moved quickly and had major sparks, but quickly after getting hitched we started trying to have a family and it wasn't all "fun" for us. We had problems, went through shots, pregnancy, having a newborn, more shots, more shots and then another newborn and now 2 kids under the age of 2. With all of this it has caused stressful times, but more it has created amazing times, the best most unimaginable moments and we wouldn't trade them for the world. But...with these moments, we have lost a little of the romance and just been focused on the day to day. This is so majorly important to me I can't even begin to explain, but unfortunately a weakness the husband and I both have is implementing this.

I have strengths too, I think. I think I do a good job of balancing a lot. I work, I sign the kids up for activities, keep up with their schedules, pay our bills, shop for kids, get groceries, make sure the kids have diapers, formula, snacks, lunches packed, college funds, we have life insurance, christmas gifts are purchased, plan family pics, etc. I do a lot. I am a planner. I would like to think of that as a strength.

Another strength is my ability to love. I love full heartedly, I would do absolutely anything for my family.

One of the things I think is cool in my marriage is that we have a lot in common, but we also have even more things that are opposite, or balance each other out. Many of our strengths and weaknesses are opposites and I think that is going to help our marriage succeed as long as we focus on the positives and  work together. My husband is outgoing, daring, very forgiving, somewhat of a complainer, go with the flow kind of guy. I am a planner, terrible at forgiving, cautious, more reserved type. I love the way we balance each other out and I hope we can use our strengths and weaknesses to instill the best traits in our kids as well.

I have a lot of faith in my marriage, I know that we have a long ways to go to improve our marriage and it will always be a work in progress and I pray each and every day that we continue to work at it, because as long as we are working at our marriage, our marriage is improving. When you quit putting in the work, that is when your marriage stops working.

Here is some food for thought about marriage:

Don't be fooled, successfully married couples face challenges, too. They've just learned how to work as a team to overcome them.

If condemnation is your chief tool to get improvement from your spouse, you may get what you want short-term, but the oppressive behavior will weigh on your spouse and hurt your marriage. Praise the good, point out the opportunities for growth, and pray about it all. 

Taking the high road with your spouse may not satisfy your desire for revenge, but it will assist your marriage.


  1. I also always feel the need to defend myself when I am hurt. It just happens too easily. Glad to know I am not the only one. You're right marriage is such hard work but it is so worth it!

    1. You are definitely not the only one Shannon! And yes sooo worth it!! :)

  2. yes! I am newly married...just over a year in...but i agree that knowing and being conscious of your strengths and weaknesses is only an asset. the hardest part is suppressing weaknesses and surrendering to the Holy Spirit in a heated, argumentative moment. therein lies the challenge! aaand time for me to remember to die to myself today and live by the Spirit!!

    hope you're having a lovely morning!



    1. thanks girl! I agree, you have definitely got to lean on God in your marriage as well as every aspect of your life. That surrendering is definitely the hardest part! xoxo