Friday, April 29, 2011

Dear baby blueberry,


Dear baby blueberry,

Today you are about 7.5 weeks old and growing fast. On Monday we get to see and hear you again and we can hardly wait! All I think about all day, besides puking, is that I hope you are ok. I am trying to exercise to keep you healthy, but not over do it. I am super duper tired all day long and the nausea is never ending. It is morning, day and night! I hope that is a good sign of a beautiful, healthy baby. I can’t wait to start shopping for you and decorating your new room, it is going to be so much fun! Your daddy has been reading all about what is going on with your growth and all mommy’s symptoms. He has been cooking me dinner almost every night and even cleaning the dishes. He is going to be the best dad ever! Well, that’s all for now. We love you!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

National Infertility Week

Infertility is a frequently misunderstood condition. The media tends to focus on the extreme, like the "Octomom" or "Kate Plus Eight" stories. The media also tends to spread myths about infertility.

For example, the media often focuses on just the female side of infertility (which makes infertility look like it's only a female problem) or on age-related infertility (which makes infertility look like only a "career-woman" problem).

Monday, April 25, 2011

Dear baby pea,


Dear baby pea (your current size),

Today your daddy and I got to see you in my belly for the first time and hear your heart beat. It was absolutely amazing, I cried. You have been making me EXTREMELY tired and for the past few days I have been very nauseated, but you are so worth it. Already I love you so much and think about you all day. We are currently 6w4d into our 9 month journey together and I am just praying for your safety. I want the best for you and we cannot wait to see more pics of you and get to meet you. Oh, and I forgot to mention…you are due on Halloween! Your dad jokes about naming you Freddy, but don’t you worry, I won’t let him. It is a quinkie-dink that Halloween was the first time your daddy told me he loves me. Please stay warm in my belly and keep growing. We love you!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

We are having a baby!!!


OMG, we are pregnant! 4 weeks!! Wow, this has been such a whirlwind. I cheated and took some tests on my own during my 2 week wait. The first was negative, but it was too soon and I knew that. The next 3 were positive!! Although it was not 100%, I was so overwhelmed with excitement. Went to the doctor and took my blood test on Tuesday morning & waited all day for them to call. Then, I missed their call b/c I was in a meeting and when I got out, they were closed. BUMMER!! I listened to Dr.’s message like 5 times to see if his voice sounded happy or sad, haha. This morning I called at 8 am sharp and they said it was definitely a positive!! OMG, HOORAY! I still can’t quite believe it. I am so excited, but so worried. I don’t want anything to go wrong over the next few weeks. Tomorrow I go in again to make sure my HCG is doubling. If it is, that is a good sign, if not, that is bad. Then, next week I will go 1 more time for the usual blood work, then a week from that….heartbeat time! Oh my geez, I can hardly wait. Although our baby is currently only the size of a grain of sand, I love him or her soooo much!

Oh, and predictions on the sex are already coming in. Mom, Allan and Dubi all say boy. We shall see.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

IVF Post- 2/14/11


So this past weekend started with us watching this horrible dateline special about a woman who had IVF and was given the wrong embryo’s and got pregnant! This was the worst timing considering our transfer was Saturday morning. I had nightmares all night even though I knew this was not going to happen to us, it was just awful to think about it. Saturday morning we woke up early and started with breakfast and lots and lots of water as I was told to drink 50 oz. starting about an hour before my appointment. By this point Allan and I had pretty much decided we would transfer 2 embryos. We arrive at the doc and they call our name. We got back into the ultrasound room and see a picture on the screen of 1 of our embryos, how exciting!! After they scan my bladder to make sure it is full, we talk to the doctor and the embryologist and they convince us to do 1. So here we go, they begin and I feel extremely shaky. I am so emotional and nervous and excited that I take a couple deep breaths and pull myself together. Allan watches the whole thing on the ultrasound screen and then a couple minutes later it’s over and they begin the 5 minute timer. “ok, time’s up, you can go pee and get dressed now”…wow, all I could think is really, that’s it. Then, we get our discharge instructions, our 10 day blood work appt and we go home with our picture of our baby!  Now, it’s the waiting game. All weekend I had to rest, now today I am back to work. I forgot my badge again this morning and just thinking oh great another week like this. I am just less and less myself each day. My mind and body have been taken over by this whole experience. Now, I just wait as I am very nervous, very excited and just plain scared.

Scared for many re

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Next series of IVF Posts...


So finally, 16 days into Lupron I started my cycle yesterday. This morning was my first ultrasound and blood test. They wanted to make sure I had no ovarian cyst before we started the stimulating shots. Everything seemed to look good and we are scheduled to start Thursday night. Now, it is going to be about 1 month until we find out if we are pregnant- very exciting and very scary!! I so hope it works.

Friday, April 15, 2011

1/19/11 IVF Post

So this morning was our 12th day on the lupron injections. I must say I am doing pretty good with them, a lot betterthan I expected. I still have a lot of anxiety and am extremely nervous, but excited too. I thought we would have started our Gonal F injections already, but still waiting to start my cycle. So far my side effects have been some bloating, cramps in my lower abdomen which are very sharp, headaches and feeling tired. I am planning to stop all caffeine once I start the Gonal F shots. I just don’t want to have any regrets. My husband has been great; he wakes up, gets everything ready, ices my tummy and gives me my shots every morning. My hormones are crazy, I cried during an episode of Hawaii 5-0 the other day…haha. I can’t wait to start my cycle so that we can have our schedule somewhat verified. Once I start, I schedule my daily blood tests and ultra sounds and have an idea of the retrieval, insertion and pregnancy test. I don’t want twins, but the part that makes me the most nervous is the doctor only inserting 1 embryo. I haven’t heard of anyone with only 1 that was successful, but I am hoping and praying for the best.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Anniversary Trip!

So, we got back yesterday from our anniversary trip to Key Largo and it was amazing!

We started by a night in Fort Lauderdale on the beach in a fancy hotel. We went out and had a nice dinner with friends. The next day we ate breakfast at this awesome little diner that was on the food network then headed to see family in Port St. Lucie. We had breakfast the next morning with Allan's brother, sister-in-law, our nephew, Allan's sister and our neice on the water and then headed to Key Largo. The weather was absolutely gorgeous the entire trip. We snorkled, took a boat eco trip, got to swim with a wild manatee, saw dolphins and ate at some great restaurants. It was such a relaxing and much needed vacation.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

3rd Post from IVF Journal- 1/6/11

So, 3 days until we start the shots and we have yet to receive them. After about 15 phone calls to the mail order pharmacy’s and the nurse to get all the prescriptions straightened out, I think we are almost there and looks like we SHOULD be ok and receive everything sent over night on time. I have to sign for most of the medication, so having it sent to work, hope it is not obvious that a huge package of needles is coming to me, lol. I cannot believe that we are starting this process so soon. I am super excited, but still scared as hell. The financial, emotional and physical stress you go through for this process is something no one could ever understand until you do it. People think it is a couple thousand dollars, a couple shots and wham you are pregnant….WRONG!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

2nd post from IVF Journal- 1/3/2011

Wow! In less than a week, Saturday the 9th to be exact, we will be starting our IVF process officially- meaning I will be getting shots daily from my nurse, also known as my husband. Last week we took the hour long training and did the test run to make sure the doctor was able to easily insert the embryo. Everything went well, but to say my nerves are starting to get to me would be an understatement. I am trying to act brave and be strong, but I keep crying and just feel so emotional. I don’t know if it is going to get easier or harder once we actually get started on this very strict schedule, but I am ready to get that first shot over with. It has been a struggle, we have spent thousands on our dog, who we just found out needed a 3rd surgery. We had a bird fall out of the sky and hit our car on NYE and I am just trying my hardest to not get sick. They say not to stress during the process, so I am trying to tie up all these lose ends and relax, but I think it is impossible to really relax fully during this. My husband is the best, he is doing what he can to make me feel better and I know at times I am an emotional roller coaster, but I know he is there and he is going to be a great nurse. I am scared as hell, but trying to keep my eye on the prize.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

1 year since "I do"

This weekend the hubby and I will be celebrating 1 year of marital bliss! We are leaving Thursday for a week in Key Largo, the place where 1 year ago we said "I do". I am super excited about this trip, it is much needed and we absolutely love the beautiful beaches there. Of course, my fabulous mom will be house and doggy sitting- thank you Mom!

First post from my IVF journal- 12/8/2010

Recently, Allan and I found out that it was going to be very difficult for us to have a baby the old fashion way, it was devastating. As a couple, we have always known we wanted to expand our family sooner rather than later and this news broke our hearts. I know there are other options, artificial insemination (which is the route we knew we would take), and adoption (which just wasn’t in my heart). Ever since I can remember I have known I wanted kids one day. A few years ago I even made a little inside promise to myself that if I didn’t meet the right guy by a certain point in my life, I would do it by myself. Then, God answered my prayers introducing me to Allan and we fell in love. We both had our careers set, we had a beautiful home, and we were in love, why wouldn’t we want to start our family?

Monday, April 4, 2011

Our Journey

Some of you who may just have started reading are thinking that we actually just started IVF, but we actually started the process back in January. I wasn't ready to talk about it publicly, but now I am, so I am now documenting my private journal and our private struggle of having a baby. For anyone who knows about IVF, it is very hard. It takes over your life physically, emotionally, mentally, and economically. It is stressful, painful, expensive, & very strict as far as schedule. You basically don't have much of a life during the process. I know this is something sooo many couples go through for so many different reasons, so whatever happens, I am now ok with sharing.